Just trying to change the world, one blogpost at a time.

15 July 2016

Drunk in Lust

When you read the title what was the first thing that came to mind?
No not Beyonce and her watermelon and surfboard, what was the next thing that came to mind?
Well if you're anything like me, the word lust probably triggered your brain into thinking about sexual desire right? Then maybe your brain went a step further and semeone you're crushing on (Idris Elba) just popped into your mind looking all fine and then out of nowhere you just hear the voice of your pastor and you come back to your senses. No? Just me then?
Haha, but in all seriousness though sexual desire is often the most thought about type of lust, it can be extended to describe an overwhelming desire or craving for anything.
A few examples could be: 
- people obviously
- objects like cars/clothes (or whatever your into)
- food (yep this is definitely me)
- money
- power
And the topic of today's post - other people's lives or at least elements of them.

We are in the midst of an oversharing generation. We all saw Kwame's dinner of jollof and chicken last night, we know what Hannah thinks of people of other races, we saw Lucy get engaged and we know what time Dante got to work. And whilst in many cases, the freedom of expression and the ability to connect with people on such a large scale is amazing - we can also end up with unrealistic ideas of what other people's lives are like. For the most part, we, myself included, publicly post things that paint us in the best light, there's definitely many exceptions to this but I think it's true for the majority. So now, when you browse through Instagram or Snapchat and read your Facebook or Twitter feed, it looks like everyone's got their shit together. It's rare for people to share their struggles at least not until they've overcome them and so if you're having a rough day or are in a time of your life where you're just not happy then browsing all these things can make you feel 100x times worse. 

It's not only social media that can have this effect. I am blessed to be surrounded by many people who are making things happen for themselves, stepping out of their comfort zones and succeeding in their chosen areas of interest. And I am extremely happy for them, they're all more than deserving of their accomplishments but, there's an eensy-weensy part of me inside that says 'Damn, I'm not doing enough,' or even worse 'I wish I had done that' - there is a small hint of ... jealousy (:O there I said it)! Other people's accomplishments can at times highlight our failures/shortcomings and unless we learn to turn this into inspiration rather than intimidation, we can end up in a cycle of self pity.

But, instead of looking at these things with envy, we can use them to drive us towards our own goals. Don't look at someone else's life and think you aren't capable of having what they have. Don't think, well they're faster, prettier, more talented, more driven, more whatever than me - instead think, if they can do it why can't I? There are probably many examples that you can name of people that have beat the odds and gone on to do great things in their lives - why can't that be you?

Lust is, I believe, one of the worst of the 7 deadly sins because its effects can distort your image of yourself and of the object of your desire. There is no perfect life, there is not one person on the Earth who only experiences good times. Every success often comes with sacrifice, every successful relationship goes through hard times, every athlete/sportsman has to put in hours of training and overcome the losses in order to succeed and every author probably has a bin(on/offline) of deleted drafts. Everyone started somewhere and once upon a time, the people who's lives you might crave, were in your position! They too probably had people they looked up to and wanted to emulate but instead of lusting and lying in insecurity, they created a life for themselves that reflected their own #goals. So next time you browse your social media or have conversations with people in (what you deem to be) "better" positions, don't get too lost in their stories, just keep watering your own grass and soon it too will be greener.

Use all you desire as inspiration to write your own story and I guarantee, yours will be just as beautiful - even without the filters!

Stay Blessed,

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