Just trying to change the world, one blogpost at a time.


9 May 2016

Serenity.

My candle collection has gotten pretty crazy but I can't get enough of them.
There's something about their scents and the way they can fill an entire room that just puts me at ease.
My favourite place to be after a long day is in bed, with a book and a cup of tea, blissfully drowning in the smell of a candle.
In moments like this I feel the most at peace. 
A state in which I am striving to be in more and more.
Being in this period of 'figuring myself out', it can often feel like life is moving in 1000 different directions and it's a struggle to try and keep up. Everyone is venturing out into new areas; parenthood, travel, marriage, new careers, personality changes, all sorts of thing,s and I often find myself lost, wondering where I fit into it all.
Where am I supposed to be?
What am I supposed to be doing?
What comes next?
And whilst its important to have the questions and to have goals and dreams and plans, I have come to find that having peace of mind not only allows me to focus more, but helps to deal with whatever situation I am currently in.
I used to believe, like many others probably do, that peace is equivalent to happiness, that it is a state you can only enter whilst you have it all together. Day by day however, I am learning that in fact the opposite can be true. I believe that having peace comes from accepting where you are whilst recognizing where you need to go. I am miles and miles from where I would like to be but accepting my current position will ultimately allow me to only focus on moving forward.
We are often told to dismiss our emotions, bottle them up, push them to the side, do whatever it takes to get through the day but this is neither healthy nor helpful, at least not in my opinion. You can feel your emotion without allowing it to control you. In fact acknowledgement of how you feel can often set you free and help you to move on.
Anger, sadness, fear, frustration; these are all things that as human beings we are bound to encounter along life's long and trialing journey, but alongside them run happiness, excitement, hope, and most importantly love. Once we become more in tune with ourselves and how we operate, we are more able to understand that regardless of our current state, time will move us into a new one position and eventually 'this too shall pass.' We are never standing still, subtle changes occur everyday to ensure that we are never in the same place twice even if there is familiarity. For this reason there is no use in holding onto yesterday for it has come and gone, there is nothing else it has to offer us besides perhaps guidance for today. 

Another thing I find I struggle with is being present, although it is something I am working on. Multitasking and the age of technology, as brilliant as it is, has lead to people being in many different places at once, figuratively. I could be having a conversation with my mum, preeing people on Instagram, messaging 3 people on Whatsapp, watching TV and eating all in the same breath. It's madness and in the end nothing gets the attention it deserves. I know that I need to make more of an effort to be where I am, if I am writing then I should just be writing, if I am speaking to someone, they should have the majority of my focus; I say majority and not all because at least 10% of my thoughts will be on food regardless of what I'm doing lol! Generally I find that when I am engaged with just one thing, I feel a lot calmer and less pressured to do a bunch of things all at once. It gives my brain the capacity it needs to complete whatever task I am attempting in that current moment.

Ultimately I think that we should all create a bubble, a bubble that nothing except things of the most utter importance can penetrate. We keep our sanity and frame of mind in this space, not allowing anything outside it to touch us to the point that it affects us negatively. In all honesty even too much praise can get to your head. Cultivating a space in which we are able to decipher what we do and don't  want to focus on can make all the difference in the world. 
If Billy from work is hassling you about a piece of work, let it bounce off and go about your day.
If the lady on the train kept barging you on your journey, let it bounce off your bubble and go about your day.
If you've been getting recognized by many people for something, accept it, take the positive energy then let the rest bounce off and go about your day. 
It's easier said than done, we can all be easily affected by some of the smallest things, good or bad but practice, mindfulness and an awareness of our thoughts can truly help to bring us to a place of peace.
It is my hope that continuing to search for peace will ultimately lead me to the answer to the question, "Why am I here?"

That was a little scattered but I hope you take something away from all that rambling!
If not, wishing you a week of serenity anyway.
All the best,
Selorm, xo.
  

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