Just trying to change the world, one blogpost at a time.

Latest Articles

31 December 2016

I am in my own zone.

"This is my life. This is my story. The pages are mine to write."

Hopefully throughout letters A-Y this has been resonated but if you take nothing else away from these chapters take this: This is your life to life!

Yes there are so many factors that we need to think about when it comes to our lives: family, friends, work, hobbies, society and more but at the end of the day we are each on our own paths. Sure people may be heading the same way as us. Some may just cross our paths. We might take a wrong turn or even end up at a dead end. In all these circumstances however we are present and it's down to us to figure it out. Sometimes we get so caught up in everything else that we forget that we are at the cores of our own lives. Everything else is an addition. Put yourself first. Not in the selfish sense, and not in the place of God if you're a believer, but simply in the sense that you are the driving force behind your actions.

Be kind, be generous, be loving, be everything great a person can be but do them because you want to not because of the reaction you may or may not receive. Do them because that is just who you are.

Life is a journey immeasurable by time. You can find people who live to be 85 but never really lived at all whilst on the other hand there are people who unfortunately leave the Earth really young but lived in every sense of the word. Be alive and present at all times, it is your story after all.

You might not be able to control everything but you can control how you see yourself and how you view the world. Each day you make the choice to make your dreams come true or to watch the chance pass you by. Be an advocate for all you want to see in the world and make sure you cherish and enjoy the ride. Why not right? You only get one life!


I hope you've enjoyed reading some of these and that you've been able to take something from them. As always I appreciate any time you have taken to read these and hope to write more going forward.
Wishing you the best always.
Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

I am young at heart.

"Don't let the world make you cold. Keep the child in you alive."

Whether you're 17 or 70, a young spirit is a great thing to have. Too often we see life's battles making people become bitter, boring and just blah! Have some fun! Sure we all have to be age appropriate with the things we get up to but it's important to just let loose from time to time. You don't have to go to the club to have fun! Play some music, dance around, watch a film, go swimming, or my personal fave, meet up with some friends and eat! Literally whatever you fancy, just make sure you enjoy your life along the way.

Little children are amazing! They are bold enough to do what they want, they can be crying one minute and laughing the next, they don't discriminate and in general just love being alive. Emulate some of those things. Depending on the stage you are at in life, different things may have happened. You might just be starting University or preparing for your first child. Regardless keep the little version of you alive, don't become someone who is just miserable all the time! Obviously as you grow older, you ought to know better than to do certain things but don't let the world rob you of that excitement you used to have as a child. The way you used to wake up with joy ready to tackle the day ahead, the way even a simple McD's happy meal toy could keep you happy for hours and how great you felt when someone said 'Well Done!' Keep that spirit alive and I promise you your days will be so much better!

By all means, take things seriously, not everything has to be turned into a joke. There is a difference between being childish and being young at heart. Having a 15 year old mentality at 25 isn't cute, but the same passion, enthusiasm and vibrant energy that you did when you were young is something to be celebrated! That kind of energy draws people in and is extremely contagious. So have some fun, get a laugh in everyday and enjoy the ride; it might not be all fun and games but life is meant to lived!

Stay Blessed,
Continue reading

I will regularly give my life an X-Ray.

"Spring cleaning isn't just for clothes."

From time to time it's important to just stop and reflect. Truly examine yourself; where you are, where you've been and what you want to achieve. Slowing down like this can help to refocus you, remind you of why you're doing what you're doing and allow you to appreciate all that has happened to get you to where you are. Take note of the things that have gone wrong. Why did they happen and what can you take from them? Don't carry the past with you but be sure to take the lessons along. It's okay to not know the answers to everything, just allow yourself to have time to heal from any negative experiences and to put things of the past to rest.

What has gone well? Keep note of all the things you have accomplished so far; how much you have grown and developed over time. Congratulate yourself! There is nothing wrong with celebrating your achievements, take pride in all you have managed to do so far! I find we are often too hard on ourselves when we do something wrong and not nearly as proud as we should be when things go wrong. In the same way you'd be happy that a friend achieved something, so should you be happy for yourself! 

Regularly revisit your goals and ensure you are on track to achieve them. If things have changed or you have new visions, think about how you will get there and the next steps you need to take. Can you do more? Are there certain things you need to cut out? Do you need to restructure the order of your day? I for example found that in order to get the most out of my day, I had to start going to the gym in the morning as opposed to the evening; this then gets it out of the way early and frees up the rest of my day for other things. Finally if there is anything holding you back, think about how you will lessen it's effect or cut it out of your life. 

How you do this evaluation is completely up to you. Some reflect annually either at the end of the year or on birthdays, some have 3 month or 6 month plans that they go back to. Whatever your methods, self reflection is one of the best things you can do; it's important to stop and come up for air before you dive back into things again.

Stay Blessed,
Continue reading

I am concerned with my well-being.

"Take care of your mind body and soul and the rest will fall into place."

Health is not an issue to be taken lightly. Physical health is extremely important and its esssential to stay on top it. A good diet and some exercise however are not the only thing to be conscious of; habits such as excessive smoking, drinking, high levels of stress and ilnesses are some of the things that can physically affect us. Be aware of your body and how it reacts to certain things. Don't be afraid of the doctor; regular check ups and noticing things quickly can help to keep you safe from harm. If you do notice something unusual, get it checked out as soon as possible, it's always better to be safe than sorry. A real understanding of a good diet is also essential, it doesn't mean eating leaves all day or following some fad trend; but simply getting the right nutrients according to what your body needs. We all come in different shapes and sizes and so we need to make more of an effort to understand what our bodies need. 

Mental health is also just as important if not more. We hear often of issues such as depression. split personalities, OCD etc, but smaller things such as anger issues, self doubt and low self esteem can also have detrimental effects. Having a clear mind is key! There is often negative stigma when it comes to mental issues but we shouldn't shy away from admitting something is wrong. Confide in your support system or speak to a professional, either way if something's up you need to get it out somehow. Harbouring negative feelings can lead to a lot of issues some even physical such as weight loss and insomnia. If you really are against speaking to someone, find another method that works for you. Exercise can have great benefits especially things like running and yoga. Prayer and meditation are also alternate methods that can help! Whatever makes you feel comfortable, do that, but make sure you do something! Too often we see people taking their lives because they couldn't get a handle on the battle that was going on in their minds.

Your well being is never something you should play with! Be in tune with yourself and take care of you!

Stay Blessed,
Continue reading

I will not be a victim to my circumstance.

To be victorious you have to step out of the body of a victim."

Be a champion in life. Yes things will not always go your way, it's inevitable. There may be situations you encounter that might set you back. Not the words 'set you back' not 'make you stop'. In cases like this, it is imperative that you find an alternative route to your chosen destination. Pity is not the same as empathy. To be described as pitiful isn't a compliment. Don't give anyone reason to pity you and you should definitely never allow yourself to wallow in self pity. The world is constantly turning, there are countless opportunities everywhere so when life tries to knock you down - fight back! When people try to give you those 'I feel sorry for you eyes' always hit them back with 'Don't worry about me, I'm going to make it work.'

Don't be subdued by your past, your present is where it's at and the future is still very much open. Sure, there might be a few short term losses but the long term gain still has the potential to be great. The best days of your life are ahead! Bigger and better things are in your future; claim that and work towards that. Be excited about how amazing things will be.

Wherever you are in life; you should feel as though you are moving in the right direction. The pace may not be as fast as you would like but any progress is good progress. That includes your career, your relationships and your mental state. If you're trying you're doing better than most and you deserve props for that. Take control of your life; have the courage to walk away from things that no longer serve you and the balls to go for the things you want. You will be successful, just believe it!

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.
Continue reading

I will be more understanding.

"You don't have to agree with someone to see where they are coming from."

Understanding is one of those beautiful traits that unfortunately isn't found in everyone. To understand someone is not easy. It requires you to be able to see past your own opinions and place yourself in another person's mind. Have you ever been in a situation where you're having a discussion and what the other person is saying is completely crazy to you?
Imagine this for example. There is a piece of paper being held up between two people, they can each see one side. To person A the paper is red, to person B the paper is blue. When asked what colour the piece of paper is, who will give the right answer? This is a simple illustration to show that we all see the world in different ways and there isn't necessarily one right answer or one right way to go about doing things.

Our experiences, surroundings, goals, and perceptions paint the world in a particular way. It's important to build the ability to step back and consider the world might look a little different to someone else. An example I've found to be quite common recently is differences on the opinion of marriage. Whilst I and many people I know have it mind as something amazing, I have met a number of people who don't see the point; often because from their perspective marriage has always ended in divorce or one party cheating or something to that effect. Their experience of it, and how it's been to them has lead to their opinion whilst I've seen many loving marriages and have another view on the matter. We can't always expect people to see things in the same way we do, and in fact we shouldn't want them to. Differences in opinion are healthy and can help us gain further understanding on different situations. Sometimes someone disagreeing with you only makes you believe in what you think even more. 

In a conversation or argument, take the time to listen instead of just thinking about your next point? Where are they coming from? If you don't understand maybe ask what lead to them thinking the way they do. You may find that their reasoning allows you to see things differently or perhaps once you find the root of their opinion you can show them why you disagree. It's much more effective that just having a opinion battle. In the same token, with maturity comes the ability to agree to disagree without any hard feelings. It takes a lot of self-assurance even though it may seem like the easy way out sometimes. It means that you have the restraint to not impose your opinion on someone else and and can respect them as a person even though you disagree on certain things.

It is the case however, that not everyone will make the effort to understand you. It doesn't matter. Be the bigger person and lead by example. 

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.
Continue reading

I am an asset to my team.

"Success is always better when you get to share it with your loved ones."

Though we may be part of different teams as we go through life; sports, projects etc; your main team is your support system; family, partners and friends. It's important to ensure that you have the right people around you to share the highs and get through the lows. Once you have that network, you also have to ensure that you're pulling your weight within that team. Mind you the people that form your support system may change over time, that's okay, just ensure that for the duration that people are in your life you do your best to support them.

Okay so what does it mean to be an asset to your team? It means that you provide something invaluable to the people that you care about. Love, support, honesty, advice, loyalty, a listening ear... all the things you'd expect to gain from your team you need to be willing to give back. Effort has to shown both ways in order for the team to flourish as a whole. Don't call someone and say 'You haven't reached out to me," if you haven't made an effort to reach out either. We all get busy, and sometimes time just flies by without us realising but it's important to check in and keep in touch even more as we get older. 

Being a good friend/partner/family member isn't always easy especially when we are so focused on making things happen for ourselves. We might not always speak or see each other but so long as your team is aware of the love and support you have for them, you're doing your part. A small 'how are you' text can go a long way! Even though your team will no doubt be aware of and understand if you are really busy, be sure to never them for granted and to show your appreciation whenever you have the chance! 

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

I will speak with caution.

"Our words have so much power, sometimes we don't realise how much until it's too late."

What you say can have a huge impact on you and those around you. Sure words can't physically hurt us, but they can definitely leave a mark. Be careful with what you choose to say; of course you're free to say everything that comes to mind but that's not always helpful or smart.

Avoid saying mean things and you won't have to apologise later. It is something that takes practice and self-discipline but in the end it saves a lot of hassle. We often get into arguements that escalate and lead to one person or both people saying something completely out of bounds and then all hell breaks lose. Save yourself the time and the cost of apology flowers and learn to just shhh sometimes.
These days, we can share our thought so quickly. 2 seconds after something happens it'll be uploaded on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat or whatever form of social media is relevant while you're reading this. We need to slow down sometimes. Read your texts and emails before you send them. Not only will that allow you to avoid the dreaded auto correct but it also gives you time to think about whether or not what you're saying is necessary and potentially think about how the other person may react. If you just speak without thinking you could easily end up hurting someone unintentionally.

Also on the flip side, when you get messages, don't be afraid to ask exactly what the other person means. Tones and meanings can be misinterpreted via text or email so when in doubt either ask or give that person a phone call that way you can hear exactly what kind of tone they have. You don't want to read something, jump to the wrong conclusion ad then end up saying things you regret, been there, not worth the stress.

There will be times when you will have to have difficult conversations. Be tactful and considerate and try not to leave room for ambiguity or misinterpretation in order to get your point across. You can be honest without being cruel and also remember you factor in the kind of person you are talking to because different people react in different ways.

In general, say what you mean, mean what you say, and figure out when the best thing to say is nothing at all.

Stay Blessed,
Continue reading

I will respect myself and others.

"Sure a bit of banter is fine, but we seem to be losing touch with where the line is."

We live in an age where disrespect can now be coated in wit and insincere smiles and called bants. Sure it's a new day, things are taken a lot more lightly than they used to be but that doesn't mean you have to accept anything that doesn't sit well with you, ever.
If you use certain words to describe yourself, you're opening the door for others to do the same so be careful. Be especially careful of the things you put online, there are certain things and opinions that perhaps are better discussed in private. 

Self respect is essential, maybe now more than ever. Know what you will and will not accept and make no exceptions. It can be difficult and uncomfortable and may even lead to conflict but it's important to stay true to what you believe and stand up for what you know to be right. If you allow certain things to happen you can't really be surprised when they happen again. For example, as a person of colour you might use the word 'nigga' around your friends casually. If one of your Caucasian friends then uses it, and you don't address it, it'll keep happening. If it's something that bothers you, you need to address it head on. Same with if a male at work uses derogatory terms with you as a woman, shut that ish down! 

In the same way, if you see any injustice or predujice going on, don't be afraid to speak out. There have been countless viral videos of people being harrassed for example where everyone around just stayed silent and watched it happen. In situations like that you always have to think, what would I want someone to do if it was me or my loved one? Respect for yourself results in respect for others. If there are things you won't tolerate it is highly unlikely you will go on to do those things to others. Be mindful of other people's boundaries; don't assume just because something is cool with you it is also cool with them. And if, on occassion you do offend someone, simply just apologise.

Stay Blessed,
Continue reading

I will have no qualms.

"Worrying doesn't get anything done!"

Qualm - an uneasy feeling about the propriety or rightness of a course of action. It's natural to question a decision, to wonder whether or not something is right, but never ever should you allow that feeling to become permanent or manifest itself into self doubt.
Intuition, though apparently stronger in females, is something we all possess. You can usually feel when something isn't quite right and in cases like that it's important to be able to either make it right or walk way. If you constantly feel uneasy or anxious about something, make an effort to do something about it; sitting in that feeling isn't healthy or useful.

Stay in a bubble of Zen; cool, calm and collected. Be confident in the fact that you are at least trying to do the right thing. By all means, seek the counsel of other people but at the end of the day, every choice is down to you. If you are prepared, if have taken all the necessary steps, why worry? Worrying does absolutely nothing but cause stress and despair; it takes up time that could be used to fix whatever has gone wrong. If you can't change it, there's no point in worrying, and if you can change it, then change it instead of worrying. Once the milk has been spilt, just clean it up and keep it moving!

Of course, life can throw things at us and unfortunately people we care about that are completely out of our control. In instances like this it can be extremely difficult to stay calm and be relaxed and people who say 'Don't worry' seem like the most annoying people in the world. It's not exactly an easy thing to turn off and as mentioned before its healthy to be connected to all of our emotions, so long as we don;t allow them to consume us! If something is really stressing you out, something that you can't change, find something else to put your energy into; whether it be prayer, speaking to someone, or keeping a diary, letting the emotion out can really help.

Hakuna Matata! Timon and Pumba had the right idea although perhaps not the best approach. Don't fret the past because there is nothing you can do to change it. don't fear the future because it is still very much in your control. But most importantly, don't waste today doing either of those things.
You got this!

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

I will express my passion.

"I like Maths because it lies within everything but I LOVE to write because of the potential impact of my words."

Passion. It should be present in your life in all you do. In your work, in your relationships, in your choices. You might hate your job or despise the subjects you're studying and if there is no driving force behind you, you probably won't do as well as you could. However, even if you hate your circumstance, if you are passionate about the reason you in it, that passion will carry you through!

What do you love to do?

It's unfortunate that not everyone can afford to live off their passions, that is just the reality of the situation. But to live without your passion at all isn't a choice you need to make. Say you love the game of football for example but you are a terrible player or you've suffered an injury that has made it difficult to play. Whilst you might not be able to make millions from playing the game, you could still coach for example and get your fix that way, keeping that part of you alive. Who knows what that could lead into! In some cases it's even better to keep work and passion separate, that way you can enjoy your interests without the stress that comes with work. However if it's possible to combine the two and get the best of both worlds, that's the route I'd encourage you to take.

Perhaps you're passionate about a specific topic or cause. Sure you might not be able to create the results you want all on your own, but you can definitely contribute. In the fight for gender equality in the work place for example, by simply being a woman at work apologetically, you are part of the progress being made. Nowadays there are a ton of groups that you can join where you can discuss common interests, work on certain goals and simply just be in the presence of people who like the things you like. 

Keeping your passion alive will in turn aid to keep you alive!

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.
Continue reading

I will take and create opportunities for myself.

"I probably could have done a lot more if I'd just read my emails."

Opportunities = Possibilities.
Have you ever seen an opportunity for something, decided you'll look into it later and then by the time you do, it's gone? Or worse yet, have you ever experienced not wanting to do something, then later realised you actually do want to but it's too late?! That's the worst!
Whilst we shouldn't dwell on what could have been, what could be is a great thing to consider. When opportunities come your way think about the potential behind them. What could it take you? How could it enhance or improve you?

Although it might often feel like opportunities come from a place beyond our control. the reality is that we are always creating a foundation for them by encouraging certain things to come our way. For example, your mentor at work may recommend you for a promotion. Who created the opportunity? You might think your mentor did but in actual fact it was you! By working hard and becoming great at your job you encouraged your mentor to give you the opportunity to progress in your career. You create the basis, always!

We have to be constantly on the look or open to opportunities because you never know where they will come from. Remember you are never stuck even though sometimes it may feel that way. A period of silence could very well lead to one of the greatest chances of your life being presented to you. On the other hand, if you find that no-one else is setting anything up for you, set something up yourself! Take things into your own hands and build a door to walk through! A word of caution however, not everything is for you. Occasionally something may come your way that looks good, but to you doesn't feel quite right, don't be afraid to turn things down no matter how big a prize they seem to be offering. Always remain true to yourself and your goals first and everything else will work itself out. 
Continue reading

I will try new things.

"There are usually amazing things waiting for us in the realms beyond what we know."

We are not all daredevils. Some people relish off the adrenaline that comes from change whilst others much prefer the comfort of what is familiar to them. Both absolutely fine, but, regardless of which category you fall into, being open minded to new things is essential. If you walk the exact same path, day after day, year after year, how can you expect anything different to happen?

New things don't have to come in crazy packages. Bungee jumping, sky diving, swimming with sharks; if these things interest you then by all means go out and do them but it's definitely not by force. Travel is one thing I think everyone should experience in some form. I know people who genuinely have no interest in it but I think it's one of those things that can really change the way you see things. When I say travel though I don't mean go to another country just to do exactly the same thing you'd do at home. I mean experience the culture, try and pick up a few words of the language, visit places of significance and find out what's so special about them; take it all in. The world is so much bigger than the city you're in, which means there are countless opportunities to learn something new.

Engage with different people. Having an established group of friends that you can lean on is great and necessary to get through this thing called life but don't be completely closed to the idea of adding new people to the mix. You may find that someone who is completely different to you and the people you're used to hanging out with may be able to offer a perspective or advice that other people can't. Everyone has a different story, a different series of paths that led them to where they are now, find out about the people around you - perhaps they've gone through something you're struggling with now, maybe they have the same desire as you to do something and you can collaborate or help each other out. New acquaintances can be useful, you never know, 5 or 10 years down the line they might be in a position to help you out! In the same token, be open with what you have learnt along the way, you might be able to put someone on.

Whether its food, hairstyles, sports, hobbies; the list of new things to try is endless. Don't be the person who says 'I wish I could do that,' find a way to do it! That said, you have to want to try these things, make sure you never let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to.

Go forth and make your life an adventure; you do only get one after all.

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.
Continue reading

I am on a mission.

"Wake up each day with a goal, even if that goal is just to relax."

What are your long and short term goals? Regardless of your age or situation these are questions that should be on your mind. Long term goals, as touched on, can give you direction and enable in good decision making over all. Short term goals usually involve a breakdown of things in order to reach your long term goal. Let's say in the long run, you aim to be rich, a short term goal could be to save a certain amount per month. People tend to put different time periods on their goals. for one person short term could mean 3 months whilst for another it could mean one year. Whatever your time frame is, have some targets in mind to work towards otherwise you'll find yourself aimlessly wandering through life, going nowhere.

Purpose. Give one to each day and you'll find yourself going to bed with a sense of accomplishment. Naturally, we all have different aspirations, whatever yours are it's important to continue to push yourself each day, challenge yourself and never become complacent. Also once you have these goals in mind, stick with them, don't make excuses or leave them til tomorrow. It's easy to say you want to do something, actually getting it done is a whole other battle. It all comes down to how badly you want it; if you want it bad enough, nothing can stand in your way. 

Your mission doesn't have to be extreme. You don't have to want to save the world or be a millionaire to be called ambitious. Ambition is simply a strong desire and determination for success, whatever that success may look like to you. Only you can truly know what you want to do! Dream big, as big as you like, and don't worry about what other people think of your dreams. Of course be realistic, but don't shut the door on certain possibilities just because someone else might not think you they are possible. Whatever you want to do, do it to the best of your ability; put as much into it as you can and you'll see it come back to you tenfold. Do not be discouraged by a slow start, the further you go beyond your limit to make something happen, the more accomplished you will feel.

Now regardless of what our individual missions are, one goal we should have in common is the goal to be the best versions of ourselves. Make sure you put in some time to develop as a person; find time to reflect and make steps towards being all that you can be. Even just one step forward is always going to be better than standing still.

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

I am learning.

"We can never know everything, but we can always learn more."

Education is a great thing. Though post secondary school you may never need to find the equation of a line, there are things we learn in school that we carry throughout our lives. These vary from person to person, but some examples are discipline, hardwork, resilience and how to build friendships. As well as classroom learning, it's also important to educate ourselves on the ways of the world. Find out about your heritage, the economy, history being segregation both racial and gender related, how the housing market works; we can't be experts in everything but having even a small understanding of the world in which we live is extremely beneficial.

That being said, learning goes past the point of education; it exists outside of the classrooms and lecture theatres and lies at the very heart of life. Think back to your school days. Remember the kid who was always disrupting the class, didn't pay attention and then always complained about not understanding? Well at some point we've all been that kid. When? In all the times that life has tried to to teach us something and we decided to close our eyes, cover our ears and ignore it. Like in the classroom, you have to be receptive to the things being taught, open to the wisdoms we could potentially gain from the situations and people around us.

Finally, the greatest teacher of them all; our mistakes! They can teach us a hell of a lot but only if we choose to learn the lessons. So don't be afraid to fall but don't let one misstep lead you down an entire spiral of mistakes. You can get it right, never give up on yourself! Though we might not always reap the benefits straight away, making a change for the better will never lead you down a wrong path. Each experience can be classified as a blessing or a lesson, both are needed to go further in life.

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo 
Continue reading

I will be kind.

"I got through some of the hardest days of my life because of the kindness of people who didn't even know I was suffering."

You never know what someone else may be dealing with and how much what you do or say can affect them. Be kind. Always!
The words synonymous with kindness are friendliness, generosity and being considerate. All things we appreciate from other people and should therefore make more of an effort to give out. Interestingly, the word kind, when considered as noun, can describe a group of people with similar characteristics. No two people are the same, but we are similar in the sense that we are all human, things make us happy, things make us sad - we are as a collective, a kind. Have that in mind next time you're about to do something not so kind. How would you react to the mean thing you're about to do or say. 
We're in an age where 'banter', cruel memes and tweets are so common that we no longer see the problem with them, it's simply just funny. Don't get me wrong, I'm there laughing too sometimes but that doesn't make it right!

It's not possible to like everyone. Some people just rub us the wrong way and in the same way, not everyone will like us. All we can do is control the way we act! Being able to go to bed with a clear conscious will always be the best option, regardless of how petty we really want to be. Going to bed having done something nice for someone else will make that night's sleep even sweeter. A lot of the time, when we think of helping others, our attention immediately goes to those in extreme misfortune; the starving child, the family affected by a natural disaster, the country being destroyed by war. Without a doubt. they need our help and compassion but we need to make sure that we don't turn a blind eye to those a lot closer to home. The colleague suffering from anxiety, the stranger crying on the train, or the loved one who is bottling things up. Sometimes the happiest person in the room is the one who needs the kind word the most.

Be sure to spread your kindness near as well as far.

Stay Blessed.
Selorm xo
Continue reading

I will not let anyone steal my joy.

"Find happiness in yourself before you look for it anywhere else."

Ever see someone smiling so hard that you think 'Damn I want some of what they're having?'
Life is a series of ups and downs, it's probably impossible to be happy all day everyday and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Being able to tap into all your emotions is key for mental stability however it is important to have a base of happiness that's formed by nothing else but your own being.

I love an equation so here's my little happiness formula:
Attitude + Belief + Confidence = Happiness Baseline. 

Attitude is everything. If you have a positive outlook on life its a lot easier to find the silver lining in negative situations. Things like stress and depression often stem from the way we view our situations rather than the situation themselves. Is the glass half empty or half full? Well in both situations the amount of water in the glass is the same, the only thing that's different is perception. One shows contempt because it sees something missing whilst the other shows gratitude because it sees something present. 

Belief in a higher power, in yourself and in the idea that what is meant for you will be for you, can make it a lot easier to deal with disappointment when things don't go your way. Take job applications for example, if you've graduated you probably know the struggle! You might not always get the first job you apply for, or the second or even the twentieth! And it can get to you, if you don't believe in yourself you could end up thinking 'maybe this isn't for me'. To be honest, that might be true, but it might just be you haven't applied for the right job yet - that the rejections were just preparation, practice for the main event. If you feel something deep down, a conviction that says your're supposed to be in a certain field, don't be discouraged by the no's, hold out until you get a yes. 

Finally confidence. Being aware of your greatness, your potential and all the things you are capable of is also a key component in the 'happiness equation.' Why? Because knowing that you have something to offer, will help you get up whenever life hits you a little too hard. Nothing can keep you down if you know and truly believe that you have purpose! 

Combine all three and you hold a power that cannot be taken away from you. That sense of inner peace will carry you through even the darkest of times, regardless of what is going on around you. Too often we look to other people or material objects to complete us when we should be aiming to fill the voids in order to be complete on own. Any additional joy we get elsewhere should be a bonus, not a necessity. Happiness is a state of mind, don't give temporary things the ability to strip you of that.

Go on a journey to find that inner peace, and once you do, you'll find that everyday things become a lot more enjoyable and other people will also draw from your energy. Smiles and good vibes are contagious!

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

30 December 2016

I am an inspiration.

"Somewhere, someone is looking to me to be an example. What am I showing that person?"

Think about who or what inspires you. What is it about them that causes you to look at them as a source of inspiration?
In the same way you might look to your mother, a celebrity or even a complete stranger for inspiration, someone is looking up to you! Scary right?
Granted it's hard enough to navigate the course of our own lives and naturally we're bound to have a few missteps along the way however the reality is, the things we do could have an effect on other people. The messages we choose to send out have huge impacts on those around us, hell nowadays even those that follow us on social media, and once we become aware of that it's hard to ignore the sense of responsibility that comes with it. 

Imagine if someone was mirroring your every move - would you do things differently?

"Oh but I'm no big deal - why would anyone look up to me?" Fair, maybe you're not the hottest girl on the gram or the rising star athlete of tomorrow but everyone who has some sort of interaction with you is affected by you. Whether it's in a big or small way. You don't have to do the impossible to be an inspiration. Your smile, your mannerisms, your work ethic, your faith, your style, your actions, your accomplishments, the way you've faced adversity - all these things are inspiring. 
If you got up today despite going through a hard time, if you wrote a couple of pages for that essay you have due, hell even if you just smiled at someone on the train - there's something to be taken from you! You don't even need to make huge announcements or look for recognition, people are taken notice of you and somewhere, someone is grateful that you do what you do.
So keep going, keep striving and getting back up when you fall; your journey, your story, is worth more than you could ever imagine. 
Keep that in mind!

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.

Continue reading

I will be humble regardless of my situation.

"There is always someone better, even if that person is the person you are yet to become."

Humility - the quality of having a modest of low opinion of one's importance. This is the definition I found when I typed 'define humility' into Google. I don't think this definition is quite right.
You are important and it's fundamental that you believe that; humility however stems from the ability to realise that you are part of something that is much bigger than you! 

In cheerleading for example. the person at the top, the flyer, is extremely important. They create the visual, capturing the attention of the audience with incredible shapes and tricks. But are they more important than the people at the base? Nope! Without them, there would be no stunt, they need to have strength and coordination in order to make sure things run safely and graciously. No one play is more important than another, each person must play their part and play it well in order for things to work. The same is true in life in general. You'll probably meet hundreds of people in your life, if not more. Some doing better in certain areas of their lives than you, others not doing so well but neither one will carry more importance than the other!

Humility is a quality that we need to carry with us on a day to day basis. Not only does it affect the way we interact with people but it also affects our quality of life. There is something to be taken from every situation; as humans we all have things that we need to learn but we also have things that we can learn from each other and we have to be receptive to that. My guesses are that you don't aspire to be homeless, but don't rule out those who are less fortunate as sources of knowledge, good advice can come from the most unlikely of sources if you choose ot pay atenntion. 

We never know what life will throw at us; the people who you bullied in school could end up being the owners of a company you want to work at, you could find fortune, lose it all and end up on the streets right next to the people you used to look down on. Be grateful at all times for your blessings. Go out into the world and do great things, but never ever let it get it get to your head. You can be great without thinking everyone else isn't!

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.
Continue reading

27 December 2016

I am grateful.

"How blessed we are to have today."

Thank you. Two simple words that carry with them so much meaning. 
It is so easy to take things for granted, especially when we expect them to be around forever; family, friends, partners, opportunities, but in life there are no guarantees.
Think about those you hold dear to you right now - when was the last time you told them or showed them how much you appreciate their presence? With Christmas season upon us you probably managed to get some gifts for those you love but outside of the holidays and birthdays, how often do you shower those who love, support and encourage you with gratitude? 

It tends to unfortunately be the case that we often give those we value the most the least attention, putting them on the back burner for things less important simply because we expect them to be around forever right? We work, and we study and we grind and aim to build the best lives for ourselves, rightfully so, sometimes at the cost of our relationships. The last few months I have rain checked people so many times I can't even count, and my excuse is always "I'm busy" which is 100% true. But, going forward I know I need to make more of an effort to check in and spend time with the people who have been there for me, to support new ventures of friends and do more to show my appreciation. Not because I have to, but because they deserve for me to. 

The gestures don't need to elaborate, we can't always visit people every week or schedule in fancy dinners but we can call, text, even Facetime, just to let people know we're thinking of them. And it's not only those who do big things for us that deserve our gratitude. Anyone who adds a small dose of positivity or happiness to your day, from the guy who tells you you dropped your purse to the nice lady who gave you directions, they all deserve thanks of some kind, even if its just a smile. The world is moving so quickly now and we all want things to happen fast, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that really and truly noone owes you anything, nobody actually is obligated to go out their way to do anything for you so when they do, it's a pretty big deal!

Finally, be grateful for your life. For the days that have passed and the days by God's grace you have to come. Whether you're winning or your down at the moment, there are always things to appreciate! Count your blessings everyday and never forget that there is always someone who has it worse than you. Life is such a precious gift and we take it for granted so often, and it tends to only be when disaster strikes that we really tune in to how blessed we are. Life may not be perfect, in fact it never will be, but I guarantee that you will always find a reason to smile, if you look for one.

Oh and in the spirit of gratitude, if you read this, I am extremely thankful, and if you took anything from it then I'm even more blessed. 
Love always,
Continue reading

26 December 2016

I will have faith in myself.

"Belief in God opened the doors, belief in myself got me through them."

Though many of us believe in a higher power, a guiding force that gives our lives peace and direction, having faith in ourselves is extremely important! If we don't believe in ourselves, why should anyone else? 
Over the past few years I have met so many people , brilliant people, with talents, skills and ideas that could be manifested into great things! They all have a desire to do something and yet most of the time when I ask why they aren't pursuing their dreams the answer is usually an indication that they don't believe in themselves enough. 
"I don't think I can." 
"I've never done that before."
"It's not realistic...!"
I'm no exception! There are many things I'd like to do, visions I'd love to see come to life that I haven't pursued mainly because I'm scared, and also because I don't 100% believe that I can, or that I'll be successful. Hell even sharing these scares the life out of me but to not try at all scares me even more. After all, we miss 100% of the shots we don't take right? But if we manage to score, even just once, well it could change everything!

Confidence. Given to few, craved by many! It is one of the traits that I admire most because it gives us the ability to show the world who we are, what we can do, thus encouraging others to follow suit. 23 years and still it is something I continue to strive to have; it doesn't always come naturally to us but I hoping that perhaps with these words and those that have come before a little spark will have been lit. Confidence is not to be confused with arrogance and the line between them is easily blurred. It's not a matter of puffing out your chest or holding your head up so high you look down on other people. To me it simply means knowing and being able to rely on yourself. It's quiet but evident, subtle but present creating a bubble of positivity that gives ys the ability to say, "No matter what goes wrong, I'll be okay." 

Now is the time for us to get to know ourselves and get to know ourselves well. We need to learn and acknowledge the great things about us and not shy away from them. At the same time we need to address our insecurities and work on our shortcomings, though our pictures will never be perfect we can continue to add and erase small strokes at a time to reveal the true masterpiece that each of us is. 
With the end of year coming up, I urge and encourage each of you to take a little step in the direction of self-belief. Do you have a passion or idea that you continue to put on the back burner? Is there some part of you that you're hiding away because you're not sure that the world will respond in the way you'd like? Do it anyway, try it anyway - take a small jump and soon you'll be taking leaps of faith. 

Hope you all had a great Christmas. 
Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.
Continue reading

24 December 2016

I am not going to make excuses

"Everyone's doing it" is not a valid reason for anything.

But she started it...
But it's going to be really difficult...
But everyone's going...
So often we stand in our own ways, coming up with reasons and validations as to why we can't do the things we really wish to do, why we can't be the people deep down we know we could be, that we should be. Every time we come out with these lines we delve further into the realms of laziness, lack of discipline, irresponsibility and find ourselves further and further from where we want to be. 
Almost everyday I come across a news article or an Instagram picture of someone who despite a bunch of odds, found a way to make it. People with no arms or legs making meals for their families, students going from D's to A's, people making history and changing the world as we currently know it! And so I ask you, just as much as I ask myself, are our excuses even valid? 

We all, by God's grace, have 24 hours each day to do something with. Let's say 6-8 of that is lost to sleep. If you're like me and working 9-5, and extra 8 hours is gone, throw in some travel time and you're down to around 6-8 hours of your day left to play with. The question is what do you do with it? Most of you reading this are probably around similar ages to me, in this weird adult but not fully adult stage where its still pretty normal to be out drinking all night but not really acceptable to then lie in instead of going to work. These are our years to make something of ourselves, to take the risks and make the sacrifices and to be fair a lot of the mistakes. We are blessed to have youth on our side and the ability to put in more time without our bodies paying too heavily for it. So what stops us?

Well I can't speak for anyone else but I definitely have a few chosen excuses. 
1. "I'm tired." Damn right I'm tired - working, studying, gymming (attempting to) day in day out takes its toll however if I actually want to reach my goals then its not a good enough excuse. Don't get me wrong there's a fine line between being tired but able to keep going and being exhausted. I fully believe we need to look after ourselves but I personally know I'm capable of doing a lot more.

2. "Everyone's doing it/going." Food is my weakness. Best believe if I see some cake on the treats table it is likely going to end up in my mouth. Plus when bloody Sally in the office keeps banging on about how good it is, it makes it sooo much harder to resist. In comes the need for discipline, not going to lie I feel like peer pressure is much stronger now than it ever was in school. Colleagues going for lunches or drinks after work starts to become so normal that you find it weird to say no actually I should go home and write instead or I should probably skip the cheeky Nandos and actually have the salad in my bag. Standing alone is hard, but when those abs start pushing through it'll so be worth it. 

3. "Tomorrow." LOL I actually don't know who I think I am, yes I have faith and pray and believe God will see me through my days but it's so easy to forget that our tomorrows are limited and responsibilities and challenges only pile up as we get older. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and so we need to make more of today, even if it just means doing a little bit each day. I always find that if I put something off today I'll probably put it off tomorrow and the cycle continues until there's an actual deadline or some sort of consequence. Sure it's impossible to do everything, as much as we'd love to we just can't put our time into all the things we want to at once. But by prioritizing and being more organised we can get a lot more done.

We have to take more ownership of our time, of our lives in general. Too often we place a wall of excuses in our own way, essentially locking ourselves out of our own potential. Why? Cause we're young and we still have a ways to go, but bit by bit we'll get there, we have to, no excuses!

Stay Blessed,

Continue reading

11 December 2016

I will make good decisions.

"How bad you want it determines how much you'll sacrifice to get it."

We are our choices. Of course there are external factors that come into play, events that occur outside of our control but ultimately where we are right now is a result of all we have done so far. For every action there's a reaction, each choice having some sort of knock on effect in our lives. Who we spend time with, where we work, the things we do in our spare time, even what we eat for dinner; all these things add up to form our current situations. Some see this as karma, others as consequence but either way if we want our tomorrow's to look a certain way we have to start outlining the sketches today.

Naturally, we have all at some point in our lives made mistakes/bad decisions that lead us into places we don't want to be. Fact of the matter is we always will, we can't always get things right - if that was the case there'd be no point in living because we'd have nothing to learn, nothing to develop into. The bad choices can sometimes be even more important that the good ones because they give us somewhere to go, they teach us the most invaluable lessons and in hindsight serve as the beginning of stories of triumph. There is such beauty to found in the learning process, how over time we can go from one thing to another, and how making one simple choice one day can lead to something incredible further down the line.

As mentioned in the previous post however there's always going to be an opportunity cost and so we have to decide what we want out of life, and how badly we want it. Let's use money as an example. Suppose you're a student and one your goals is to have £1mil comfortably sitting in the bank. You're currently considering getting a car but you have no income other than student loans. Whilst the car might make it easier for you to get around, its an expense that in essence will make it harder to reach your goal. Don't get me wrong, I don't think steering off track a little from time to time is necessarily a bad thing, that's why I stay eating those pizzas even though I'm trying to get buff, but it's important to pay attention to how our choices will affect the acceptability of our long term goals. If we aim to make decisions that brings us closer to our main goals 8 times out of 10, then there's only so long it can be before we make them a reality. With patience and discipline there's no reason why we can't get to that place that we dream of.

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

9 December 2016

I am changing.

“When people say 'you've changed', the correct response is – thank you!”

As humans we are constantly adapting and evolving in hopes of becoming better. If you look back over the years and think you haven't changed at all... Look again because you've definitely missed something! Our interests, habits, hobbies, surroundings and many other things are bound to be different throughout the course of time but there seems to be some sort of negative stipulation about change; as if for eternity we are supposed to just stay in the same box, doing the same things with the same people. 

What's interesting is that amending one thing in your life usually ends up up leading to another change somewhere else, be it positive or negative, leaving you a year down the line in a completely different space than where you started. For example; let's just say you decide to give up alcohol. As a result you might lose weight, (the calories in those cocktails are real) which is great but on the flip side you might find that the friends you used to hit the bars with might not holla at you as much because you're not as fun sober. No I'm not giving up the wine just yet but my point is that for every decision there's an opportunity cost, a series of options we could have chosen that would taken us some place else, a sacrifice if you will. Some changes are easier to make than others because we have little desire for what we'd be giving up, whilst others seem almost impossible because the loss is a lot greater. 

As mentioned not all change is good change but somewhere in the grander scheme of things I think the negatives can bring about positives. So, if you're reading this wishing that in some aspect of your life you'd gone a different route, it's not too late to change things around. Though it may be impossible to go back to the way things were there's no reason why we can't go on to something better. It can be scary and difficult to change, we naturally subconsciously fear the unknown, but staying confined to a certain way of living that deep down no longer fits you, ultimately limits your chances of happiness. Growth is an amazing thing and regardless of how it may be perceived you should take pride in your development and your journey. Sometimes you might even find that the changes you make in your life inspire others to do the same.

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

7 December 2016

Image result for letter b lowercase
I am beautiful.

“I used to dream of being someone else, until one day I realized no-one can be me better than me and I have something to share with the world.”

You know there's no-one in the world exactly like you.
You are an art piece; the strokes of your being carefully painted in a way that cannot be replicated. But, just like art, you will not be suited to everyone's taste. Maybe you have big ears. Maybe your teeth are crooked. Maybe your hair is kinky. Maybe your cheeks are a little bit chubbier than you'd like(yup that's me\0. We all have something, some feature that we would change it we could. Whilst I don't think the point is to necessarily think our flaws are the best thing in the world, we do have to get to a point where we think we are amazing despite them, maybe in some ways because of them. 

For many years, the media have capitalized off our insecurities by defining what beauty is and flooding us with products to make us more like "who we should be". One day skinny size zero females are on trend, the next it's all about big butts. #Teamlightskin. #Teamdarkskin. Beards are in now but tomorrow it might be all about a clean shave. Placing ourselves on the media's spectrum of beauty will only ever make us 'hot' for a reason whereas if we focus on ourselves we can be beautiful for a lifetime. 

By all means, I think we should take pride in our appearances, when we look good we feel good. I'm definitely 5x more smiley when my hair's done and my eyebrows are fleeked than when I go to the corner shop looking like a bum. However, that said, the glow of our physical appearance can never over shadow the the light that shines from within, it is if anything, merely a reflection. 

Have you ever seen someone talk about something they love where their smile and the sparkle in their eyes just makes you warm up inside? Therein lies their beauty. It's not the hot picture that gets 100 likes but a form of grace, happiness and other components that cannot be seen. Ultimately I think it's shown most strongly in how you make others feel, particularly those we love. 

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo.
Continue reading

4 December 2016

Hey Peeps,
As always I hope you're all blessed. 
Can't believe we are already in the final month of 2016 - it's literally flown by and I can say it's probably been one of the best years of my life so far. 
December tends to be, (in addition to a time for eating & drinking), a reflective period where many of us look back over the year and think about what we've accomplished, what we failed to achieve, what was good, what we wish never happened and finally what we want 2017 to look like. For me personally, though in general it was an incredible year and ticked so many things off my list, I couldn't help but dwell on the fact that my writing took a back seat this year. In some regards it had to, I probably wouldn't have passed my exams or been able to fully enjoy certain things if I hadn't taken a break but nevertheless I am hoping that next year I can build it back up again.

So that being said, I've been trying to pick my brain to figure out what to talk about. And though a hundred different ideas bounce around in there, none were able to stick... except one.
About two years ago I wrote my first book, I honestly don't remember why but in the end it turned out to a book of reminders that I needed to hear. Advice from me to me I guess.
I finished it, showed it to a few friends to ask their opinion and then let it sit on my desktop for two years!!! Well the archives are now officially open and I have decided to share it with you.
There are 26 days left this month with is fitting because it's 26 chapters long (don't worry they're quite short) and it's my hope that you and I can gain something positive from those words I wrote so long ago. 

Image result for letter a lowercase
I am able.

“There is a big difference between 'I can't' and 'I can't yet'. The first deems a task impossible whilst the latter encourages you to find the means to make the task possible.”

How many things can you do today that you weren't able to do when you were born; when you were 12; last year?
As we get older we seem to forget the depth of the stories behind our abilities, how we got here.
We have learnt to read, to write, to speak, perhaps more than one language, possibly to drive, to understand codes, to teach and so much more but these abilities did not appear overnight. Before we learnt to walk we had to learn to carry our own body weight, to crawl, to stand and then finally, we made our first steps. It was the process of trial and improvement and constant effort that allowed us to make that happen and the same is needed for us to be able to reach our goals, and it is important that we allow ourselves to go through the motions.
Though things may appear to become more difficult as we get older, in actual fact what changes is the patience we have with ourselves and the time in which we aim to complete tasks. We sometimes find ourselves giving up because we aren't seeing results fast enough but life rewards consistency above anything else. If you keep trying despite the missed shots, failed businesses, rejections after interviews, or whatever else dampens your spirit eventually you will be successful. Additionally we have to ensure that the rate at which someone else has achieved something doesn't make us try to rush or give up completely. Sure someone else may have reached your ideal destination but who says there's only one way to get there. There are many paths along this journey called life, we have to find our own instead of trying to run down someone else's otherwise we might miss some things that we were meant to pick up along the way. 
Finally we can never allow other people to define what we can or can't do. In the 'Pursuit of Happyness' Will Smith's character says to his son, "Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period!" Whether out of love and trying spare you wasted time or whether out of jealously or disbelief in your abilities, what other people will tell you doesn't matter nearly as much as what you tell yourself. When it's all said and done it's just you against the world and whether you fly or fall it should always be on your terms.

Stay Blessed,
Selorm xo
Continue reading

13 November 2016

  It has been a very long time since I opened up my laptop to write.
Too long.
Reasons very from lack of time to lack of inspiration and everything in between!
I've been meaning to write probably for about 2 months now, running through ideas but never executing them but for some reason today I just feel like I have to. 
I celebrated my birthday a little over a month ago and initially wanted to write a post that basically summarize what I'd learnt over the past year, however I'm going to flip the script slightly and instead share 5 things I intend to bring into this year! I'll try to keep it short & sweet just like me ;) (definitely become a lot cheesier in the last month haha!)

1. Draw in pencil and keep an eraser nearby.
Vision. It's one of the greatest qualities a person can have. The ability to see beyond today and create a potential story for tomorrow, or next year or even 10 years from now. The issue however, arises when the images we draw for ourselves are so set in stone and intricate that when they don't happen as planned we feel like we have failed. Tormented by a weight we placed upon our own shoulders. I'm guilty of this in so many aspects of life and am trying to take a new approach. I still think we should dream and see ourselves getting to places we want to be, but drawing in pencil rather than pen means we can easily edit as we go along; adding or taking away things as necessary. Now working in accounting I see on a regular basis that sometimes you don't achieve as much as you had planned to, but you don't give up. You simply re-forecast; adapt and change your strategy to take a different route. Failure only arises from giving up completely. Equally so, sometimes plans change for good reasons; a promotion keeps you in a job for longer than expected, you get a record deal and so finishing school takes a little longer, an opportunity arises faster than you anticipated... Either way we have to learn to be flexible and adapt to whatever life throws at us.

2. There are no rules!
Literally everyone's story is different! You don't have to take a specific route to reach a certain outcome. Sure if you want to be a doctor or lawyer for example you have to attend the respective schools but the kind of doctor/lawyer you are, the way you go about solving the issues presented to you, that's pretty much down to you. Being in this adult but not quite adult stage of life is extremely interesting because we see everyone diverging onto different roads, going at different speeds. It's easy to wonder if you too should be doing the same thing; but how the hell are you supposed to have a full time job, do a Masters, have a kid, start a business, spend everyday in the gym, become a Vegan, go travelling for a year and keep your eyebrows on fleek all in one week :/. Decide where you want to go and don't worry about whether it's the norm or not, the way you decide to handle your life is up to you and just because it might look a little different doesn't mean its wrong. 

3. Single doesn't mean sad.
Yes, I've touched on it before but as I'm still single it's still relevant haha!
11.11 is singles day in China - a day where people celebrate being single! In an era were so many people are asking 'where's bae' and aunties and uncles start thinking because you've finished Uni you're miraculously meant to find your husband tomorrow, you don't hear much about happy singletons. Now don't get me wrong I think relationships can be beautiful however it's important to water the side of the grass you're on! It's a time to figure out who you are, what you want and to really come to terms with being in your own company. Sure there might be period where the only person texting you is your mum to bring the laundry in but just think about how amazing it is to be blessed with a season of selfishness. Not in the sense that you don't care for other people but that you don't have to compromise, you don't have to take someone's feelings into account every time you make a decision which then can allow you to do things you wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. Make the most of it so if you do choose to get into a relationship, you won't find yourself basing your identity on that person nor will you feel like you're missing out on something. 

4. Discipline - hard to master but so worth it!
For most of the duration of The Great British Bake Off, my colleagues and I were involved in a competition that basically lead to 2 cakes/baked goods being brought in... Every. Single. Week. Now even though I was super conscious of the inches being added to my waistline and the growing fullness of my cheeks, I couldn't resist - why? Because I didn't have enough discipline. It's one of the hardest things to have I feel; while dedication provides the motivation, discipline results in the execution. They say building a habit takes on average 66 days  to be formed - usually I end up killing it for the first 3 weeks and then BAM one slip up and I'm back to square one. And that's just of my own doing; throw in a few people whose sole purpose it seems is to encourage you to give up and well the task becomes 100x harder. Since it's an area that I'm definitely still working and probably forever will be all I can say is battle one thing at a time. Trying to build in 5 different routines at once will, in the long run, probably be less effective that conquering a habit at a time. Keep reminders and little motivational tools around you and don't beat yourself up if you mess up one day, there's always tomorrow God willing. 

5. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.
You don't want to bother your friends. You don't want to seem needy. You don't want people to think you don't have it all together. And so your suffer in silence, trying to get through it alone. Well you don't have to. I don't like asking for help - I enjoy the pride that comes from being able to do something on my own but reality is, majority of the time I think you can get further with some help. No man is an island - someone out there will either have experience dealing with what you're dealing with or they know someone who does. Even the internet has forums that allow you to talk whilst remaining completely anonymous!
  One of the biggest stigmas comes around the topic of seeking professional help; talking to a counselor, therapist or support group in order to attempt to resolve certain issues. Sometimes friends and family aren't enough, they aren't impartial enough or you don't feel comfortable enough to talk to them, if that's the case I don't think there should be any shame in reaching out to a 3rd party! There is a rising number of suicides among young people and it's scary how often people feel so alone that the only resolution is to leave the world. For that reason too its just as important for us to offer help, to not ignore the signs of sadness in our friends, to smile at the miserable person on the train, to listen when someone says they need to talk.
Don't get me wrong, it's not only the big things, some people even struggle with asking for directions. The fact of the matter is, the more comfortable we become with the idea that we don't know it all and nor do we need to, the easier it'll become for us all to to take the necessary steps towards your brighter and hopefully happier futures.

Who knows, perhaps my next post will be next week, perhaps it'll be next year but as always I appreciate and genuinely thank anyone who reads this.
Stay Blessed,
Continue reading